Every girl has her own dream, and my dream was to be fit, be beautiful, be called ‘body goals’… but I sometimes ask myself, why do I feel this way, why do I even care? Am I not proud of my own body? I know I should be proud of my body and should not set a body standard on my mind, but I just can’t help it.
Every time when I scroll down my Instagram feed, I feel ashamed as I see celebrities and models posting pictures of them in bikini. I was always afraid of people judging me, calling me names, talking about my flaws, but every since body shaming became a global issue, and people started to raise awareness, I started to feel empowered, I no longer feel the need to keep fit, to go on a diet, or to ever think about photoshopping myself so I’d look ‘thin’. I stopped trying to be “perfect”,because no one will ever be perfect for everyone.
To be honest, I wouldn’t say I am the most confident about my own body, and in fact, I am probably one of the most self-conscious one among my friends, no matter how many times they tell me, ‘you’re not fat!’ ‘you don’t look bad’, I still think that I do. I never take people’s positive comments for granted, but I will definitely take negative comments really seriously, it might be a joke, telling me they can see my double chin, my tummy feels like a cushion… one negative comment, just one can change a lot about a person. Nowadays, we see a lot of posts on Facebook saying how 11 year olds nowadays put on makeup and being all grownup and stuff, and in fact, this IS what is happening to the world right now, and us as 15/16 year olds, feel ‘even older’. People around me started wearing makeup to school, wearing really revealing clothes, modelling, photoshoots… doing really grown up things in general, I feel the need to do it too, but then I realise, I am not as fit as them, I am not as proud of my body as them, what else can I do to fit in? And I think I finally found my answer ; I do not need to fit in to feel happy, I am happy just
the way I am right now, I love what I was born with, I love my skin tone, I love my body, I love me.